Don't like your new co-worker? This 5-point guide will help you deal with it
Some people you click with, while with others, the mere mention of them can make you combust.
If you’ve got an upcoming meeting with someone who is not in your best books or vice versa, don’t waste too much brain space on it by overthinking about this potential meeting. Focussing on how much you dislike them will set you up for disaster and put you in a negative frame of mind even before they have the chance to. The best thing you can do is recognise what buttons of yours might get pushed and to go in with no expectations, good or bad.
Grin and bear it
Just because you don’t like someone doesn’t mean that you have to become unlikeable. There are loads of things in life that you will have to learn to grin and bear it. Dealing with someone you dislike is not going to be a one-off — so it’s best to learn how to listen patiently, even though you may disagree with them. Ask yourself a few questions: Is this worth getting into? Will showing my true feelings to them offer any solutions? If the answer is no, then don’t get into it.
Control your emotions
You cannot choose what they throw at you, but you are in charge of how much you want to absorb. The key here is to remember to show tact over temper. It’s easy to get agitated but when you meet someone you dislike, you have to be aware of your own heightened emotions. It helps to keep some calming techniques on hand (we’re human after all) and if it gets too much and you think you cannot handle it, excuse yourself till you can compose and compartmentalise your feelings. It’s much less embarrassing to take a time out than to blow up.
When coming face-to-face with someone who doesn’t like you or who you’re at loggerheads with, it makes sense to take a referee. Tackling a person you have issues with often backfires because it’s hard to maintain a clear perspective when you feel you are being unjustly targeted. Having a neutral third party will help the both of you keep things objective.
A little perspective
This uncomfortable meeting is not your whole life — it’s occupying just a portion of your day and an even smaller portion of your life — so sidestepping away from the drama can help you gain some perspective. Sure, the time spent with them may not be pleasant but it will pass. As will any feelings of anger and aggression.