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Is having a crush while being married okay?

The cute girl in accounting, the funny friend — it's normal to notice people other than your spouse. Here's how to handle a crush when you're already committed.

, ET Bureau|
Updated: Apr 30, 2015, 10.30 AM IST
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It's normal to notice people other than your spouse. Here's how to handle a crush when you're already committed. (Image: Getty Images)
It's normal to notice people other than your spouse. Here's how to handle a crush when you're already committed. (Image: Getty Images)
The cute girl in accounting, the funny friend of a friend or even your gym trainer — it's normal to notice people other than your spouse. As the famous saying goes ‘You're married, not dead.' While the momentary infatuation is uncontrollable, your actions aren't. Here's how to handle a crush when you're already committed:

Remember what it is

A crush is just a crush and you need to keep reminding yourself of that. Don't trick your mind into thinking it's something more than just a temporary distraction. Technically, you don't know enough about this person to be "in love", so remind yourself that even though she may seem perfect, like everyone, she has flaws too.

Social media rules

This varies from relationship to relationship. If you're in contact with your crush, you should not cross the line via social media. We're sure you and your partner have rules about what is acceptable and what is not. Maybe chatting on gtalk is fine, but FaceTime is not — you have to figure out what amount of contact won't alienate you from your partner. The best way to decide this is to imagine if your partner was doing the same thing.

Don't speak

While it may be easy to think of the crush as your soul mate, let's get this straight: that is highly unlikely. So if you find yourself running to tell her about your new haircut, it's time to rein it in, big boy. And please, never talk to your crush about your marital problems...which brings us to our next point.

Focus on your spouse

A crush usually develops when you're feeling less than content with your spouse. Maybe you're not feeling as connected as you used to, maybe the honeymoon period is over. But one thing is certain, you can actually learn something from your crush — if you want to. You need to focus on working on your current relationship. Start doing things that both of you used to enjoy at the start of your relationship, you may just develop a crush on your partner all over again. It's a win-win situation.

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